Jamie ChengCreative Strategist and Performance Marketer

"GOD F***ING DAMN IT" Ads

How To Build Million‑Dollar Crisis Moment Ads

One of the best marketing lessons in history comes from calling old dudes that bought dick pills.

Read the article →
Jamie Cheng with his son on his shoulders.
"The process to arrive at this marketing execution is pretty awesome - very surprising consumer psychology!"
- Tim Fung, CEO of Airtasker

"Who the hell is this guy — and why should I care?"

(Glad you asked 😏)

$100M+

Turned <$1m in ad spend into $100m+ LTV. $30M+ profit and counting.

10+ years

10+ year undefeated campaign. Final control before a 9 figure acquisition.

2x

Beat a $300M email agency brought in to replace my welcome flow by 2x. Five months, two writers and designers, four attempts later, they're still down 51%.

$4K → $500K

$4K ad spend to $500K LTV in a boring professional service niche. Now a seven figure per year business.

5X ROAS

5X ROAS for 6 months straight for a luxury brand.

100,000+

100,000+ customers generated for clients worldwide.

Some companies I've worked for impacted…

CarNextDoor Level British American Tobacco Australia My Dress Affair

…this dude said:

Facebook comment from Tim Fung: The process to arrive at this marketing execution is pretty awesome - very surprising consumer psychology!

- Tim Fung, CEO of Airtasker

(I only found this years later in the Sydney Startups FB group – so I'm using it now! 😎)

Well…
Today is your lucky day.

Static ad: It was never my body. It was the bra.
Static ad: Halbert's 100 buyer calls uncovered a new market to scale into. Static ad: on the verge of sleep divorce. Static ad: a text chat about June's tank. Sorry Babe song ad: When your eggplant don't work… so you write a song instead of talking about it. Static ad: every month you wait to raise prices costs you. Static ad: him, I don't snore. Also him, at 2am: leaf blower noises. Static ad: what I ordered vs what I got. Static ad: one brand calls every abandoned cart within a minute. Static ad: are you even wearing a bra? Static ad: the I sleep next to a snorer starter pack. Static ad: things I've tried so my bra stops digging. Static ad: where your next winning ad comes from, ranked. Static ad: how many things have you tried for the snoring? Static ad: compare what's digging in, my old bra vs the tank. Static ad: profit leak. Static ad: Stop hooking.

Job 1: Keep your winners alive

Why most iterations flop

Someone takes your winner and "makes it better." They change 10 or 20 percent. It reads way better. They'd buy it themselves. It flops… because that 10 or 20 percent was the structure, the part doing the persuasion.

Same structure + better pieces = a new winner.
Different structure + same pieces = a flop.

How I do it →
BeatTheir winner (Lemme Sleep)My version (men's health)
1. Overheard callout "I have a message for Kourtney Kardashian. If you're not Kourtney Kardashian, just keep scrolling." "Right. This is my punishment video. Because she was right. And apparently I have to say it on the internet."
5. Test I expect to fail Takes the gummies four hours early. "It's not gonna do anything." Takes one pill instead of five for two weeks. "It's not gonna do anything."
8. Concession "You really pushed the envelope. Sorry." "…She was right. And I'm sorry. There. Happy?"

Same structure + better pieces = a new winner.

Job 2: Find new buyers

The stuff people will never say out loud

Your winners keep the account alive. They don't bring in someone who's never heard of you and wasn't looking. That person needs a reason to suddenly care.

Where I find it. Inside your business, not on Reddit. A "why did you buy?" survey I ran for a menopause brand got 659 answers. One of them:

"Because your advert made me cry."
How I do it →

Where your next winning ad comes from, ranked

  1. S
    Ask your buyers why they boughtGary Halbert gave his 20-year-old protégé a list of 100 buyers to call, and the answers uncovered a buying motive the existing ads had missed.
  2. A
    Call your abandoned cartsLana Sova works with a nine-figure ecom brand that calls within a minute and, she says, recovers $200K to $450K a week.
  3. B
    Copy your competitors' winnersI get why teams do it, and there's a place for it. But everyone's fishing in the same pond.
  4. C
    Throw 100 concepts at the wallI've seen plenty of accounts with a mountain of creative and hardly anything getting meaningful spend.
  5. D
    Scrape Reddit with AIThe person complaining on Reddit and the one who actually bought your product aren't necessarily the same person.
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Here's what that looks like

Three crisis moment ads I built

Mars Men, "Sorry Babe"

I'm sorry, babe / It isn't your body / My battery's in the red

That's the whole "Guilt" drama in twelve words, inside a song you'd hum.

Mars Men · Hook 1

Tina Su, "Used To Have…"

I made this ad for her as a gift, after hearing her tell her son's story on Alex Hormozi's show Scale or Fail. Her live ad calls out parents and says "This is for you." Mine opens on her voice: "My son used to have autism, ADHD, and epilepsy."

Hi Mama · 1:15

Five Pills

A sleep-gummy TikTok that did about 48M organic views, rebuilt as a husband's "she was right" punishment video, so his wife buys it.

BRAND_02102026_JAMIE_SKU_SHEWASRIGHT_FIVEPILLS_META

Read the full brief →

MADMEN CHENG

I'm Jamie 😏

Come at me with your best proof.

PROOF. If you've got a great product, one that does what it says, with customers who'll tell you so without being bribed, then emotion is how you scale it.

Please don't reach out if:

  • Your ads promise to dissolve a pound of fat a day.
  • You sell a probiotic with zero probiotics in it, and it's really just an insanely high dose of melatonin to knock the dog out.
  • Your label says "Made in the UK" or "Made in the USA", and it's made in a factory in China and relabelled.
  • You've changed your company name three times to reset your Trustpilot reviews.
  • Your doctor is a stock photo. Or an AI face in a white coat.

For 8 and 9 figure brands

  1. Phase 0

    New customer data

    Access to the data that shows new customers.

  2. Phase 1

    Top spenders

    Pull the all-time top 15 to 30.

  3. Phase 2

    Go outside the account

    Competitors: product, market, angles.

  4. Phase 3

    Grow your current market

    Maximise TAM of current audience.

  5. Phase 4

    First batch

    Lock in early wins with category buyers.

  6. Phase 5

    Top of funnel breakthroughs

    Structured briefs.

  7. Phase 6

    Judge on NC CPA

    Then check customers against LTV customers.

  8. Phase 7

    Advanced strategies

    And higher level requests.

Book your call

(below 8 figures? don't worry -- we don't need this approach yet 🙂
-- feel free to get in touch still)

More Results:

Google Ads for a bookkeeper: 485 clicks from $3.56K spend. Annotated: $100,000/year from $4k spend.
Text from a bookkeeping client: asked to take over the finance function, $13k per month for 4 months then $8,500. Annotated: $52,000+ to act as finance function.
Business performance summary: £274,075 total revenue, up 36%.
Call tracking: 62,764 calls found.
Sign-up form: 11.82% submit rate, rated Excellent.Sign-up form: 16.83% submit rate, rated Excellent.
Self storage Google Ads: $68.1K cost. Annotated: $2,000,000+ storage rental income from $68k ad spend.
Spam rate chart. No agency: 120k a month revenue. $300m agency: 78k a month and less profit.Spam rate chart: a $100m agency versus 5x more emails sent per week after I took over.
Klaviyo flow table: placed-order lifts of 236%, 244%, 109% and 1,287%.
Shopify, last 365 days: 642,501 sessions, £858,143 total sales, 19,506 orders.
My Dress Affair Google Ads: CTR from 8.68% to 22.85% to 26.24%.
Klaviyo attributed revenue: flows £53,078, email £81,153.
Welcome flow head to head: my branch $8,101 vs the $300m agency's $3,653, 2.22x.
Four sign-up forms, all rated Excellent, submit rates 6.8% to 17%.
Klaviyo campaigns: £3,232, £7,346, £3,454 and £3,379 placed-order revenue.
Video insights: 952,532 plays, 31,841 likes, 4,788 shares, 31,029 saves.